So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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