My first STD was from a foam party
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
