At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize