Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
