I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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