he wants to bone in the snuggie
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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