My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Randomize
