I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
