I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
