I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
two words...techno handjob
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
