Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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