Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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