it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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