I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
