We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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