So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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