We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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