omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
