The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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