I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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