FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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