I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
