whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
