Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
