I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
