The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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