Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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