woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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