You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
