I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
People in love make me want to vomit
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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