i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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