I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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