Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl. http://tfl.nu/cxal

Replies (23) Good night (1405) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.

(972): View more from Texas

I worry about you sometimes...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT. (972): I worry about you sometimes... http://tfl.nu/k7ay

Replies (22) Good night (4983) Bad night (706)
Favorite
(949): View more from California

She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(949): She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed. http://tfl.nu/t3mj

Replies (22) Good night (8930) Bad night (1001) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it. http://tfl.nu/48x8

Replies (37) Good night (3536) Bad night (1147) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink... http://tfl.nu/o571

Replies (11) Good night (1756) Bad night (3648) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(862): View more from New Jersey

I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(862): I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard http://tfl.nu/ecro

Replies (21) Good night (5781) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this? http://tfl.nu/6xbx

Replies (7) Good night (1620) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system http://tfl.nu/i7jp

Replies (18) Good night (4748) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(773): View more from Illinois

Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(773): Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well http://tfl.nu/o41u

Replies (4) Good night (448) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me? http://tfl.nu/wm16

Replies (27) Good night (570) Bad night (2930) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(224): View more from Illinois

This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.

(309): View more from Illinois

Too low?

(224): View more from Illinois

Yes.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(224): This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd. (309): Too low? (224): Yes. http://tfl.nu/cgtr

Replies (4) Good night (1735) Bad night (445)
Favorite
(913): View more from Kansas

Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(913): Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life. http://tfl.nu/36jh

Replies (8) Good night (1768) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting! http://tfl.nu/ctqc

Replies (3) Good night (1233) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(256): View more from Alabama

I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(256): I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan. http://tfl.nu/no44

Replies (8) Good night (784) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours. http://tfl.nu/mjj7

Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: