I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
