ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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