how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
