i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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