yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
