I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
