PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
