Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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