I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
