Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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