I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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