I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize