I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
