Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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