had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
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Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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