While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
