Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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