jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
