just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
