I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
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Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
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Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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