Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I need moral support for this bender
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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