Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
