My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
