Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
