Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize